Pointless Vanity

I feel very lazy. It’s not a feeling I’m a big fan of, so I’m going to do something about it. However, that’s not as easily done as it is said.

Even though it’s definitely not what I wanted, after my son was born, I turned into one of those moms who rarely gets dressed. Most of the time, it’s a simple as jeans and a baggy t-shirt (one of Jarrett’s usually). Maybe I’ll put on makeup. I never wore much of that anyway, but lipstick and mascara is a must. This is not normal for me. Before Bodhi, and even while I was pregnant, I got dressed every day. (Well, most days. Everyone gets to be lazy sometimes…) I looked nice. I tried. I used to keep my hair dyed, usually a funky, bright red color, which is one of my great loves. My hair used to be long, to the small of my back. I was just… Much more myself.

And I miss myself greatly.

I am considering keeping my hair cut short. Jarrett said he likes it a little more. Having REALLY long hair like I did means it gets in the way, BUT you can fix it a lot better. It looks more… Feminine. I’m stuck on this issue.

Jarrett is all about the weird hair colors though. Once upon a time, I dyed my hair a really bright, gem-colored blue and he’s always wanted to see it. It requires a lot of upkeep, so I may do it in the near future, when we start getting military money.

And although it’s a little petty, I would kill to get eyelash extensions. Some people keep their nails done up all nice and pretty, but I just want long, beautiful eyelashes… Now, don’t let me lie to you, I like to have my nails done too. I grow claws and it’s nice to have uniform nails, haha. Plus those colored tips are cool as heck.

All of these things are so… Vain. I abhor vanity, but, man… I feel like a complete… anti-Kylee. Maybe I just don’t feel good about myself and the mass influx of social media in our society is telling me that these are the things that’ll make me feel better. I also abhor social media for reasons exactly like that.

Thank you reading my rant. It was pointless, but I feel better for having put it down somewhere. Maybe over the next couple of months we’ll be monetarily sound enough to afford extra gunk… I sure hope so and I know Jarrett would like to start buying gun parts again.

#SelfImage #Jarrett #MomLife